Picture a hill in front of you. Every decision you make, every thought you have, every action you take moves you up the hill or has you sliding down to the bottom. Up until now, you might have felt stuck, despondent, or that whatever happens in your life is out of your control. But it’s not. You have been in control the entire time. Sure, you might have had some serious traumas in your life which felt like they took your power away, but right now, in this moment, you can make different choices. Even pressing the button to read this shows that you CAN do things differently and move up the hill toward a solid and profound sense of self-esteem.

Building self-esteem, long lasting and solid self-esteem, takes time. But again, every step matters. Every brick in the wall is an important part of the wall, especially the first brick. That’s the one that the foundation is built upon. I heard an interview once with an ultra-marathon runner. An ultra-marathon is 100 miles. The interviewer asked him how he maintains the mindset and strength to run 100 miles. He answered, “I don’t run 100 miles. I run 1 mile 100 times.” Let this be the beginning of a new and improved you!

Ok, so here’s a quick tool you can use to start moving up the hill toward a higher sense of self-esteem. I go into much greater detail in my book, but this will get you started. Many of us, well let’s be honest, all of us, have two different voices in our head. One is the bully and one is our best friend. Maybe up until now you have been listening mostly to the bully. The bully points out every mistake, makes you feel worthless, powerless, and says things like, “Ugh, I can’t believe you did that. You’re such a loser.” Or it says, “What are people going to think?” But, in those situations, what would your best friend say? Maybe something like, “It’s ok, you made a mistake. It’s not the end of the world.” Or it says, “Who cares what other people think? I still love you.”

The tool here is to start treating yourself more like your best friend than your worst enemy. When situations come up and the bully starts talking through the megaphone, stop for a moment and think about what your best friend would say in that situation. Then YOU get to choose which one you want to listen to. It’s time to be more gentle with yourself, more kind, and more patient. You can do this! A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. You have now taken that step. What you do from here is up to you. I wish you well on your journey and I hope you join us. We are a community of people just like you and you are no longer alone.